Thursday, November 26, 2009

Adelaide Trip, 55% done

So far, this trip has not been very good.
I was homesick almost as soon as I was at the airport in Perth, and it was worse when I got here to Adelaide.
I actually cried to myself when I got to bed, due to the combination of that homesickness and the fact that the bed was uncomfortable and didn't smell/feel/look cleaned.

The cause of the homesickness? Mostly a guy.
A complicated situation to say the least.
Some who I know would assume it would be my recent breakup (3 weeks ago today in fact), but alas, that's not it; that was easy to handle, and I was naked in another guy's bed the following night (not without a problem however, I didn't want to go too far because of memories).
The complicated situation is in fact with this guy whom I was in bed with following his 18th.
You see, I'm head over heels for him, and have convinced myself that I can honestly say that I love him. Both as a best friend and in the romantic way.
The reason for the romantic part is that even through the ups and downs that I face due to the complicated situation, I still feel very strongly for him.
This is the third time round for my feelings for him, I thought I'd gotten over him before. But it appears when my chances arise again I fall for him yet again.
The problem this time is that he's not in the mindset for commitment, and he also can't choose between 3 guys; me being one of them.
Further complicating the situation is that the guy says he feels like he could say yes (to a relationship) to all of us when he's with us.
It makes me feel extremely rotten at times, but I can't help but hold on.

As you can see from the length of that, it's extremely complicated - and I could add more to it!
Though I choose not to, as it is rather a private matter.

Onto other matters about my trip;
The good things about it:
  • I now have a laptop, albeit an old one
  • I should get to see a friend I haven't seen in over a year
  • I get to see family, though on this point I couldn't care less at times. This side of the family is very unintelligent...
  • I saw a cute guy when I was at work with dad. Name was Ian Cooper (not sure of spelling tho). I would tap that ;)

The main bad point about it so far: I organised the dates around my friend's birthday; so I would be here for it again. But I didn't get to see him on his birthday like I'd planned - lunch plans he had got cancelled and he didn't bother replying on msn after a bit as to doing something else.
He's said we'd catch up for sure before I leave, but it would not surprise me one bit if this didn't happen.

Other bad things: this laptop is so old Windows 7 has blue screened a couple of times, I don't like my dad very much (I don't get along with thick people), and I'm sick.

Problem is, I think that going back to Perth isn't really going to solve anything, as I won't get to see this boy for a few weeks after that.
I'm just so confused. I don't know what to do.
It does seem bad that I say to people I'm using family as the reason to come over here, and then saying that I don't like them.
But even though I say I don't like them, I do love them; they just annoy me. (though I don't have a problem with Grandpa, but he's not very interesting; not much of a conversationalist)

I just need a hug I think; haven' had one since I got here to Adelaide, and that was from dad, so it wasn't very fulfilling.
I also want a loooooong hug from that boy, like the one we had on Monday last week when we went out to talk things over.

Sad Panda out


Normally I'm not very vocal or anything about watching Glee, but tonight so far its been pretty good.

The issue on the plate: gay crushes, teacher crushes, and the usual baby dramas.

The gay crush bit is pretty boring, and there's not a lot to it.
Just the gay kid having a crush on the jock, and them having to do a ballad together.

Though the teacher crush bit is pretty good. In the sense of examining the issue, and also entertaining that is.
Shoester (or however you spell it) sung a medley that had some real meaning behind the arrangement of the lines, and stereotypically Rachel didn't pick up on that meaning; being too under her crush to notice anything but his appearance and the sound of his voice, etc.
Oh look, and now some competition from a previous crush...

Anyway, not much point me retelling the whole storyline; but the point is that I've never before on this show seen such good facial expressions, they're both amusing and get their points across.
In fact at the beginning of the show, they were the highlight, as they told the story without words being spoken.
Then, as voiceovers were added in, it only served to add to the excitement of the scenes.
All in all, the most enjoyable episode so far. Although, it hasn't finished quite yet, so it still has a chance to make me cringe at the awkwardness like it usually does at some point...
I've still been enjoying it though :)

Xander Panda